It is a very low period in my life. I've been in bed for the past week because I have a lot of pain and dizzy spells.
I went to the dr on Friday 23 Jan 09, my blood works are not good at all, my kidneys are now non functional and because of that stones form in my kidneys ad that is what cause the pain.
According to my scan I did on Monday 26 Jan 09 my kidneys grew bigger and so did my liver with the lot of kidney stones.
I try to be strong and go on but I keep on crying every time somebody talks to me. I feel so bad to keep saying to the people if they ask "Not to good, I have a lot of pain" I now say to people "I feel good "
I think the biggest stress that I have at the moment is that I know and I can feel that something terrible is wrong but I don't get the phone call to say I must go to the kidney unit at Pta Academic Hosp for my work-up. The dr at the military hosp don't want to take me to theatre and take out the stones they say it must be done at Pta Academic so now I am waiting and feeling like a ship with no direction to go.
I will manage this thing and I will get through this because I have the Lord that is carrying me and that will keep me save. At the moment it is keeping me up and keep me going.

The people at work are so supportive and they do understand what is going on and the fact that I am on sick leave so much. Without there support and encouragement I would not be able to look after my health.

Hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. Compliments for the new year of 2009, may this year be only good to you.

Christmas and New Year I spend with my sister and her family. I did not take leave over this festive season I worked. At work it was very quiet and not a lot happened.

Petro's daughter did leave for Australia on 28 Dec 08. They are now there permanently. It is quiet without the Christo (5) and Ruben (3) running around in the house. It feels like an old age home.

New Years day I spend with Gerna and her family. I was a wet and rainy day. But is was nice and relaxing. I went to home on Friday so that I will be with Petro and Gerrie. They are all alone during this period with Maretha and her family in Australia (Gerhard (21), their youngest son went with Maretha for a three week holiday in Aus, Tania their second child went to her boyfriend over this period. I could not leave Petro and Gerrie alone that long. I felt so sorry for them.

With my PKD it is not going to well. My creatine is going down alot and I am still waiting for the hosp to phone me for admission. I am so scared I don't know what will happen to me. I feel sort of alone, Gerna and her family was transferred to Potchefstroom and they left just before the schools started, Barry and his family also left for Mozambique and they are now staying there. Petro and her family got there own problems to sort out (they may be loosing there house very soon, and they declared themselves bankrupt) so they have enough to deal with. Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself but today I don't care what it looks like. I am so tired of being strong so that everybody can sort out their stuff. I am now alone and need to think what must I do. Where are my life going. I don't have a husband or boyfriend to share my issues with so I must sort it out myself. I am now tired of being strong for everybody. I want to cry because I want to, I want to feel sorry for myself because I want to. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning and I don't care what anybody say about that.
And yet I am at work this morning because I promised them I will take minutes for a meeting this afternoon. So somewhere there is still a conscience somewhere there so I am not that far away yet (haha).
I am seeing my dr again on Friday 23 Jan 09 to see my progress. Medically I don't feel to good, something is not working in there but will find out Friday. My mind on the other hand is totally gone. But I will also get through this. There is a Higher Power that is looking after me. I believe He will not let me fall to far, He will help me up again to go on.